Do you ever feel things so deeply in your soul that you don’t automatically realize exactly what is bothering you?

Earlier this week, I felt a little off and was just attributing it to this headache I’ve been dealing with for a couple of weeks.

Then yesterday it hit me, Tuesday was the date that four years ago, the doctor stopped Tom’s cancer treatments and we knew our time left together was running out. In hindsight, I now know we had about 6 months left together.

This has happened to me before around my brother’s birthday. I’ll start feeling really emotional and down and not really realize why until I notice the approaching date.

I’ve become more self-aware over the years and know what signs to watch for. But this one kind of blindsided me. I already knew March would be rough. It’s the month that we found out Tom had cancer, that it was terminal, and that he started his treatments. The one year anniversary of losing my grandmother is approaching.

So in order to prepare for the upcoming month, I want to make a plan. First, I want to be sure and check in with my emotions and allow myself to feel them. I have a tendency to pretend I’m fine, even when I am obviously not. Second, be sure and practice self-care, including taking the time to write, be sure and spend time reading, and I am resuming my work-out routine. Eat mostly healthy foods. Remember to talk to someone if I need to.

Grief is weird. It can just grab you out of nowhere. Today as you go through your day, please remember that everyone has their own things they are dealing with and give them grace. We all need it.


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