This grief journey is weird. I just never know what is going to be the thing that is going to push that button and start an avalanche of emotions. Recently, it was coming to the last check that had Tom and I both on it. I had recently ordered new checks that just had my name on them, but still had a few of the ones with both of our names. I do not use checks for much anymore, so it takes a long time to go through them. I opened the checkbook to write a check and realized I only had two left with our names on them. I wrote one and then took a picture of the last one. It’s like one more door closing on that chapter of my life. One more step from being a “we” to being just “me”. To add insult to injury, when I ordered the new checks, the bank made me start over at 101, despite the fact that I’d been on the account for decades. I just did not have the energy to argue about it. You know when you lose someone that those big moments in life are never going to be the same. What you don’t expect is how the little moments can hit just as hard-sometimes even harder.
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