Sometimes I feel like I might be getting stuck in grief. But then I look back on some of my earlier writings and I see how far I have come. I also recently realized I am having more and more days where I do not cry.
My mom says that for a while after a loss, even the happy memories are upsetting. Eventually you get to a point where you can smile at the happy memories sometimes instead of always crying. I have seen that happening too.
A friend who suffered a similar loss says we have to “always be moving forward” and they’re right.
Each person’s grief is their own journey and one that they have to work through. And by work through, I mean it is a job and a conscious effort to do so every single day.
Not doing the work to deal with your pain gets you stuck there. I know because I was stuck in grief about losing my brother for many years. That’s a long story for another day.
A few days before Tom died, I promised him that I would be okay. He looked at me and said “Really?”. I told him he made me a stronger person and I really would be okay.
I work hard every day to keep that promise, living here “in the after”.