Today, I thought I’d share this poem that I wrote back in December 2020, less than 4 months after Tom died. Looking at it now, it feels pretty dark and full of despair. I can say that most days I do feel okay. I still miss Tom everyday, of course. But I feel like I am okay.

One thing I am really glad about is the writing I’ve done over the last few years. When I start feeling like I might be stuck, I can look back on it and realize that I have come a long way.

Waking up without you

Waking up without you,

Breaks my heart every day,

Missing you is endless,

It does not go away.

I reach for you,

Realize you’re gone,

And the pain is too much,

I feel like I can’t go on.

Life without you,

Is empty and lonely,

It’s not fair to me,

That I have to do it alone.

I promised you,

That I’d be okay,

I am really trying to be.

But I think it was a lie.

I am not okay,

And I never will be again.

December 2nd, 2020


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